My day starts out in bed…

I know that's not saying much. I imagine most of the population of the Nine Worlds can say the same, give or take a coupl'a queer blokes that don't actually need sleep. What I meant to say I suppose was that me day generally starts out a bit different than most.

Most a' the world wakes up to the ungodly buzz of some alarm. Maybe the blare of the radio's latest chart topper or the news or at best a mother or lover giving a gentle nudge. Those less fortunate, 'n' that's a matter of opinion, wake up with the sun 'n' the rooster for another day's toil. Not me…

I'm not what they label a morning person. On a good day, I wake up jus' before noon hopefully, ready t' face another day. I 'ave a fag 'n' a mug a' coffee 'n' go about me business hopin' that everyone else does the same. Truth t' tell I'm not really a night person either. Least ways not so much- not anymore. I don't like staying up all hours, traipsing all across creation doing some a' the things I have t' do. I got the original dirty job though, 'n' the folk I 'ave t' deal with keep odd hours. I don't get much sleep.

When I do, I make the best of it. Seems though that every time I start to catch up, queerness comes a' calling. I get some feeling, or I 'ave a dream or more likely a nightmare that jerks me awake in a pool a' sweat, or worse. Me telephone rings all hours a' the day 'n' night even though I never gave out me number. One a' me mates gave me an answering machine for me birthday once an' I 'ad t' rip it outta the wall, it was always full 'n' beeping.

The worst is when some bloke jus' shows up. I used t' lock me door at night, but anymore I jus' don't bother. Chaps I run with, well, locks don't mean much t' our crowd. It's no fun feelin' the cold hand a' Fate on your shoulder at three in the morning, or waking up t' the sand paper tongue a' one of Winter's pets. It's unsettling t' jus' wake up 'n' see some queer toff staring at you in the middle of the night.

'Course some times you get lucky. Once it was Zee in town for a show, laid over 'n' feelin' lonely. Bit of all right, that, not by 'alf. Those times are few 'n' far between though.

Some times I wonder what it'd be like t' live a normal bloke's life. I usually nip out t' the pub round then for a pint or five. That most often sets me 'ead straight again.

I got a radio on me clock, 'n' I've 'ad it on a time or two. If there's an alarm setting though, it's news t' me. I've never bothered t' look, 'n' by now the poor thing's probably died a' neglect…

	All our Hallowed Evenings...
Hellblazer: Halloween Special	by Curt Fernlund

Part 1

Strangers in the Night

I was running, which was me first clue that I was dreaming. I don't run much; not anymore. Me lungs don't care much for it. Not unless there's somethin' about t' crawl up 'n' take a bite outta me arse least ways. Then I can run with the best of 'em.

Me second clue was that I was naked. I was running in me birthday best through a forest that looked vaguely familiar. It was hot as all get out 'n' I was sweating bullets, literally. I was shitting bricks too, but I won't get into all of that. Let's jus' say I was scared 'n' leave it at that.

Scared of what I didn't know. I jus' knew that I had t' keep running or whatever was on me tail would get me. 'Course that could've been anything. I've pissed on a lot a' folk in me day, 'n' a lot a' things that weren't quite what you might call folk. None of which I'd want to meet up with wide awake, let alone in me dreams. So I kept running, as there wasn't much else t' do.

It got boring after a time. Usually in one of me better dreams something pops up to give me a clue as to what it's all about. That's 'ow it's supposed t' work anyway. This time I jus' kept running.

After a bit I started to recognize the surroundings. The trees were a bit gnarled and drooping; willows 'n' ash 'n' the like. There were snakes about, 'n' a shitload a' bugs that seemed t' have it in for me blood. The give away was the alligator though. As soon as I saw that bugger I knew exactly where I was 'n' figured who was probably chasing me. Naturally I stopped. It was time to take control of the situation.

I turned around 'n' was wearing my usual suit 'n' trenchcoat. The sweat was gone, 'n' with fag in hand I waited comfortably for me daughter to make her grand appearance. I say me daughter, 'cause she is in a strange sort of way. I was there for the conception, 'n' I wasn't if you know what I mean? It was one of those immaculate things you read about in the Daily Mirror, 'n' I was there in body mainly, but not fully in spirit. I was standing in for the big green cheese 'n' topped 'is Missus for 'im. Not too long after she 'ad a girl- Tefe- me pride 'n' joy. She 'ates me guts, which is why I'm surprised she's come callin', even in me dreams.

Imagine me surprise when it's not 'er that steps outta the shadows of the forest. It's 'er old man; her other old man that is.

It was the big green cahouna 'isself, tall as life 'n' twice as ugly. Oh, he's a decent enough chap, jus' a bit dense in the foliage if you catch me drift. You should 'ave seen 'im before I got hold of 'im though. He should 'ave been putting down roots in greener pastures by now, 'im 'n' 'is Missus. The whole point of bringing around 'is daughter was so she could become the next Earth Spirit. His time was past, 'n' the world was moving on. Oddly enough then, I was wondering what he 'ad t' say.

He sort of jus' stood there for a bit, looking around all confused 'n' staring off into space whilst I smoked me fag. It was jus' a bit boring mind, but I'd been around the Swamp Thing enough t' know that it took 'im awhile t' gather 'is thoughts t' speak. Eventually though the novelty wore off 'n' I took the initiative-

"Well?" I asked, 'n' he finally focused on me. He almost looked shocked t' see me standing there, which is no mean feat for a bloke with no real face t' speak of. "What d'you want you daft ponce? Out with it?"

He jus' stared at me for a time, 'n' about when I was ready to move on 'e finally spoke-

Constantine…

"Yeah?"

Back t' the staring contest…

Constantine…

"Constantine!"

I sat bolt upright, shivering t' beat the band. I was sweating again, 'n' freezing 'n' I let out a little girly yelp when I saw the curtains blowing in the stiff wind whipping through the window. Somewhere during the course of the night summer let loose 'n' let autumn get a grip on things. The heat 'n' humidity was gone replaced by an icy wind, 'n' I'd left me windows wide open. Lucky I don't catch me death.

The dream was starting to fade already, 'n' I didn't have a clue as t' what it was about. It was a visitation of some sort- nothing new there- but why Holland 'n' not Tefe. I tried t' reason it out, but I was shivering too much 'n' me teeth were chattering. I couldn't think, still coming awake. I needed to shut the bloody window. I needed a fag-

"Constantine!"

I yelped again, 'n' with good reason. There was somebody in me flat!

I looked about 'n' it took me a minute to focus on 'im there in the shadows. I suppose I should've recognized 'im straight away as there's not many of us that strike so mean a profile; tall dark 'n' mysterious. The old gray matter hadn't fired up yet though, 'n' I totally missed me cue.

"Who's that then?" I asked like an idiot, setting 'im up like a novice. "Who's there?" There was a dramatic pause, then he started 'is spiel cool 'n' calm like e'd been rehearsing it all night. Knowing him, he probably had.

"There are few who recognize me even in passing, and fewer still who know my name. I counted you amongst the latter, John Constantine. It appears that I was mistaken. It appears that to you, like so many others, I shall always remain…

"A Stranger…"

Well, I asked for that didn't I?

He looked like he was going t' say more, but I waved 'im off before he got started. "Hold on, mate. Much as I enjoy your nocturnal emissions, I jus' woke up. Give us a minute t' gather me wits 'n' take a piss would you, there's a Luv."

He frowned, 'course I'd never seen 'im smile so no hard feelings there. Still he didn't say anything as I swung me legs outta bed 'n' onto the sheet of ice disguised as me floor. I winced 'n' wobbled me way over t' the window t' close it. It was a starry night out, the wind blowing away the usual haze that hung over London. Full moon too, 'n' I knew that couldn't be good. I locked up 'n' made me way t' the loo, snatching me fags off a' the night stand en route. I figured I'd need whatever support I could get if I had t' deal with the likes of the Phantom Stranger!

As mysterious entities go, he's not one of the worst. On the flip side 'course, he's a right pain in me bollocks. Allegedly he's old as creation 'n' has ties t' places both high 'n' low. Some say he's an angel fell from grace. Others say he's the devil in disguise. I don't give a rat's arse one way or t' other. Those same pricks call me the World Mage. Show's what they know.

One thing though, the Stranger generally only shows up when there's something big blowing. Good or bad, it's usually important. I hadn't seen 'im since the Tim Hunter affair, 'n' that got a bit ugly in the end. I'm hoping, as I take a piss better 'n' me last bit of sex, that whatever he's about this time will be a bit tamer.

I splash some water on me face 'n' pull on yesterday's pants that are crumpled up in a heap on the bathroom floor 'n' light a fag. Straight off the nicotine hits 'n' I feel ready t' take on the world, or at least my little piece of it.

I saunter back out into me flat 'n' find the Stranger sniffing at last night's curry. He looks the same as ever; black suit 'n' shoes, white turtle neck sweater, black trenchcoat 'n' a wide brim fedora that kept 'is face in shadows. Real spooky in that he had a fashion sense that spanned the last century. At least I change me suit once in awhile. He puts down the crusty curry 'n' gives me that look of 'is; like the world's about to blow up, but there's still time t' have a chat. I grab a chair 'n' a Guinness from the icebox 'n' settle in. This could take a while…

"Please forgive my late night intrusion, John Constantine, but time is of the essence, and I am needed elsewhere."

"That's always the way, innit?" I take a drag 'n' blow smoke 'is way. No point in making it easy on the toff. He never made it easy on me. "What's this about then?"

He ignored the smoke 'n' stepped into the moon light beaming through the ratty curtains. He tipped 'is 'ead jus' so, making 'is eyes glow. He ought'a be on the stage, that one.

"There is a gathering north that you must attend. Should you choose to decline, the consequences could be… catastrophic."

I snorted 'n' took a long swallow of me stout. It was cold, but I was never one for a warm pint. Sort of defeats the purpose. The Yanks got that one right.

"And you won't be there because…"

"I am needed, elsewhere."

"Right!" I stabbed me fag out in the ashtray 'n' upended me bottle, draining the stout. It was going to be one of those. "Don't suppose you care to elaborate?" I asked, shambling back to the kitchen. I was going to need a bit more support t' see this through.

"There is a rising, Constantine. One of the older followings has resurfaced, gathering support. Tonight, on this night of nights, a cult will try to draw forth ancient powers best left at rest. You must stop them."

"And just which cult might that be then? There're so many, you understand." I took me chair again 'n' lit another fag, wishing he would get to the bloody point.

"They follow the way of the blood, Constantine. The way of death…"

"They all do, mate. One way or t' other. What makes these gits so special?"

"They have gathered the means to draw forth an ancient evil. Left unchecked, that evil will spread like the plague and life as we know it will come to an end."

"So why don't you jus' pop in 'n' put a stop to it now? Why wait?"

He stared at me like I was the idiot for a moment, but he didn't say anything. He never does.

"You're needed elsewhere. I got it. So why not call in Fate or Hunter, or even Doc Occult? Why me?"

"You are non-descript, Constantine. Your methods are perverse and erratic." I wasn't sure, but I think I was jus' insulted. "You are best suited to handle this."

"Wonderful." I slammed another empty bottle down on the table 'n' stood, looking for a bit of paper 'n' a pencil. "Don't suppose you've got an addy?"

He didn't say anything, 'n' when I looked up of course he was gone. Bloody ponce!

He left a scrap of paper on me nightstand though; an address up in Gloucester, Cheltenham. I assumed that was where he wanted me to go. I sighed…

I had a few things to do before I could leave. There were spells to set up and I needed to make a few phone calls as well. I also needed a shower and shave. Damned if I wasn't going to look me best if I was off t' face the ultimate evil…

Again…

Part 2

Old Friends

I was standing in the Dilly waiting for me ride. It was raining 'course, so I was standing under the marquee of one of the theatres; that one that shows See You Next Wednesday every Friday night at midnight, you know the one. God forbid London not have a rainy day with autumn on the wing.

I'd spent the morning past sunrise preparing me spells. I 'ad no idea what I'd need 'course, as the Stranger was as tight-lipped as always, so I went with the old stand-byes; a Quick Heal, a bit of Fire 'n' Brimstone, a Rumbler. After that I cleaned up and made a few telephone calls. I needed to make a quick trip to storage 'n' be back for the ride to Cheltenham, which would take a couple of hours at least. I thought about taking the trains, but British Rail made it quite clear that I was no longer welcome there, so I went with me old reliable. It was him that I was waiting on.

Despite the downpour, there was a steady flow of traffic through Piccadilly, both on the streets 'n' the sidewalk. The street venders were out in force hawking their wares to the tourists that dared to brave the rain, hiding under plastic tarps 'n' a sea a' brollies. The usuals were about as well; the whores 'n' cons, the speaker's 'n' the seedy lot. I saw a bit of the fine wire whilst I waited 'n' shifted me wallet to me front trouser pocket. The Salvation Army was in good voice, so I didn't get bored too soon as I peered into the passing taxis. I could have taken any one I suppose, but I was waiting for one in particular. He rolled up jus' after one o'clock; not too late. I got in…

"Hullo, Chas."

"John."

There was a bit of hard feelings between us after the last time that I asked a favor of me old mate, Chas. It had been awhile since I'd seen 'im last, but I got the feeling that he was still 'olding a grudge. He leaned back and turned about-

"I need t' see the money, John. Times are hard, you understand?" I nodded and handed him a few pounds through the slot in the safety glass that separated us. That was new.

He thumbed through the bills with a smile and tucked them away. "Where to then?" he asked as I lit a Silk Cut.

"Gloucester." I said, waiting for him to react. He sort of sagged in his seat behind the wheel.

"Ah, John. Y'know I can't take you all that way. It's better 'n' a hundred kilometers. It's too far."

"C'mon, Chas! You owe me!" That was a lie. Chas wasn't me oldest mate, but he was the oldest mate that I hadn't fucked over too badly. It said a lot that he'd shown up at all. I knew that I'd get me way eventually, but I hated the long process of getting 'im turned in me direction.

"I don't owe you nothing, John! Shite! You owe me!"

"You forgetting your uncle, mate, 'n' Queenie?"

He started sulking then, but I knew I had 'im. I'd gotten 'im out of a bit of a hard place with 'is mum early on. More recently I'd 'elped save 'is Uncle Tom from a bit of the nasty. We were even, more or less, but I'd never tell 'im that.

"Gloucester?" he asked, 'n' I nodded. "Renee will nail me bollocks t' the wall if she catches wind a' this."

"No reason she has t' know, Chas. How is the blushing bride anyway?"

"Hating you, Constantine," he smirked, pulling back out into the traffic. "She'd see you dead if she could, John. No offence."

"None taken, mate."

We laughed at that 'n' made small talk for a bit. Chas 'ad been driving taxi for as long as I knew 'im, picking up a bit of spare change. Nothing much 'ad changed with 'im. His wife, Renee, still hated me guts for all the trouble that usually followed me about when I strolled into 'er 'usband's life. She was a decent enough sort I suppose, but too much like Chas' mum for my taste. A controlling bitch, that Chas didn't need. I'd told 'im so a number of times, 'n' we'd almost come t' blows on occasion over the merits of Renee. I finally learnt t' mind me own business on that bit.

"I'll need you t' wait for me, Chas. I dunno how long this'll take, but I might need t' run off fast 'n' I'd feel better if you were there."

Chas sighed, sagging in 'is seat. "Jesus, John! This is already way beyond the call innit?" He worked 'is taxi out onto the shoulder, waiting for the exit t' Cheltenham t' come up. "I can't sit around all day waitin' on you. I've got mouths to feed, don't I?"

I'd thought of that 'course, 'n' reached into me pocket about then. I'd been to a few of the better parties held, both good and bad as the case may be. There's always a long line of chauffeurs 'n' servants; boot boys 'n' men's men without a lot t' do whilst the rich 'n' famous hobnob. They find other means of entertainment, 'n' I knew jus' what Chas needed to peak 'is interest t' get 'im t' wait whilst I was inside doing the dirty. I reached through the hole in the safety partition 'n' opened me fist t' show 'im what I 'ad. He glanced at me offering with a dubious look-

"What's this then?"

"Jus' a little something t' while away the boredom, Chas old chum."

"Loaded dice, John?"

I nodded. "Guaranteed, mate, 'n' with great risk t' me own 'ealth. You know the powers that be frown on such things." He should. I'd told 'im often enough, every time he asked me to conjure up a million pounds or so. It jus' doesn't work that way, but, there are exclusions.

"Jus' give 'em a blow when you're ready to make a run. You'll get about an hour a' luck before they dry up. Play it right 'n' you'll be rich. I'll be happy. You'll be happy. Most important, Renee will be happy when you show 'er your wad." I saw Chas smirk in the rear-view 'n' I knew that I 'ad 'im.

He glanced at the bones for a bit, licking his lips 'n' thinking. Finally he snatched 'em up 'n' slipped them into 'is pocket. "You better not be fuckin' with me, John! It's a long walk back from Gloucester!"

"Don't I know it? A little faith, mate. When 'ave I ever steered you wrong?" Chas didn't answer that, 'n' I suppose it was jus' as well. The truth 'urts something fierce…

Part 3

Slippery People

We arrived ahead of schedule in Gloucester about mid-afternoon. Chas knew the roads up until Cheltenham, but after that we had to ask directions a time or two as we got off of the main thoroughfares. We made a quick sweep of the town and found the direction that we needed to go when I suggested a bit of lunch. I even offered to pay and Chas- never one to turn down a free meal- readily agreed. I of course 'ad ulterior motives 'n' wanted t' get a feel of the people in the area. The Stranger 'ad been 'is usual tight-arsed self 'n' didn't really explain jus' what it was that I should be worried over 'ere. For all I knew the whole district might be overrun with zombies, or in the thrall of some Demon Lord. Goin' in blind, I may jus' as well as slit me wrists first.

We sized up a suitable Public House- the Boar's Head- 'n' sauntered in after finding a place to park Chas' taxi where we could see it. It was a big place what smelled of smoke 'n' sour beer with a suitable level of noise that of course died to a low buzz when we came in. There was a long, cluttered bar, a few booths in the dim back corners and fewer tables set dead in the middle of the floor. There wasn't much in the way of décor; a picture of Elisabeth 'n' another of Johnny 'n' flags here 'n' there. Most a' the wall was done up with plaques and ribbons 'n' shelves for the trophies as the locals won. Darts mainly, but there was a football cup and quite a few brass hogs of various sizes. I wanted to take one of the booths in the back, but Chas settled at a table so he could keep an eye on his cab.

There were a few locals in house; some older blokes at the bar 'n' a small group at one of the other tables, birds 'n' chaps. There were a couple youngsters in one of the booths I figured for tourists; college kids hiking the countryside by their backpacks 'n' the map they 'ad spread out on the table. The only other customer was a bloke sitting by the door t' the kitchen. I couldn't really see 'is face, but he 'ad a thick 'ead a' red hair with a shock of white that seemed all too familiar. I was about to go take a look when the barmaid sauntered over t' give our checkered, plastic tablecloth a wipe down.

She was a good looking bird, thirty-ish 'n' not too worn yet. She 'ad that look like she was looking for better things, but knew she was done. She blew 'er bangs outta 'er eyes 'n' cocked a hip-

"What'll it be, gents?

Chas piped right up. "Give us a pint, Luv, 'n' I'll 'ave the kidney pie." The girl jotted that down 'n' turned an eye on me.

"A pint here as well, but I'll give the lamb a go."

"Your funeral, Guv." She smirked 'n' spun on 'er 'eel, scooping up a round of empties on 'er way back t' the bar. I watched the show- she filled out her denims right nice- then turned me attention back to Mister Familiar in the corner.

He was smoking t' rival me, 'n' I could see as he'd been there a spell. His ashtray was overflowing, 'n' he 'ad a bottle a' scotch that was down t' the last finger. He was half-watching the tourists giving the dart board a go, but it was obvious that he 'ad somethin' on 'is mind. I shrugged at Chas t' take a peek, but he shrugged back with a shake of 'is 'ead. Chas didn't know 'im, which meant that he probably ran in my circles, rather than ours. I was about t' go over 'n' see who he was, when he beat me to it. When he stepped outta the shadows, I finally realized who he was-

"Jason Blood!"

I was a bit surprised. Jason Blood was an ex-patriot Brit that lived in America these last few years. He was like me in a way- an investigator of queer things- though he actually 'ad a practice of it. A para-normal investigator I believe was the current fashion. He 'ad a license 'n' everything; Man-Friday, secretary, et al.

Blood 'ad 'is albatross as well though. Seems he's the physical anchor for a nasty little shit named Etrigan. Etrigan's a demon, said t' be the brother of Merlin though that's debatable. He's a rowdy bugger, a rhyming demon in Hell's hierarchy that gives old Nick no end of worry. Some say he's 'alf a man, where others say Blood's 'alf a demon. They're linked though, no doubt about it.

I hadn't seen Blood since the bit with Tim Hunter, 'n' then he was 'is usual snotty, snobby self. Blood's got airs, 'n' we never got along much. Still, it's proper t' stop 'n' say 'hello', innit?

"Blood!" I grab 'is arm as he tries t' pass, but he still almost doesn't stop. Finally he glances my way 'n' I see that he looks t' be in a daze. His eyes are looking at me, but he's not seein' me at all.

All at once then he seems t' focus 'n' he looks down at me, pulling 'is arm back-

"Constantine." I give me best grin 'n' offer 'im a chair, but he jus' stands a bit taller 'n' looks at me like I'm something foul on the bottom of his Gucci loafers.

"What are you doing here, Constantine?"

"Jus' passing through, mate. Saw you sitting there. Jus' wanted t' be neighborly. You?" He snorted-

"I have pressing business here. None of your concern. You'd do well to keep 'passing through'. There's nothing for you here."

"Din' say there was, did I?" The barmaid popped up jus' then with our food, 'n' Blood took that as 'is cue t' slip towards the door. "Cheers…" I said, but he waved me off 'n' stepped out, ignoring me. Not much on the courtesies that one, but then he's got reasons.

"Cor, John!" Chas said between sips of 'is pint. "Who was that arse?"

"Jus' another tosser, Chas." I said, raising me glass 'n' looking for the lamb that was supposed t' be on me plate. Chas knew better than to ask too much. "Cheers."

Odds, the meal wasn't half-bad.

Part 4

House of the Rising Sun

Chas 'n' me finish our early supper 'n' down another two rounds before I decide it's time t' go. I wanted to get a look at the locals, but the thin trade that wandered in seemed no worse for wear on a Friday in Chelsea. Regulars mainly poppin' in for a quick taste, a few tourists down from Gloucester proper tryin' to see how the locals live. Nothin' untoward.

I pay the tab 'n' we take a final spin about the area. There're a lot of little wide spots in the road trying 'ard t' be towns out here in the country. You're lucky to find more 'n' a pub 'n' a petrol stop, maybe a grocer or newsagent between the farms. For the most part, it all seemed kosher, 'n' I didn't get the slightest whiff of any queer happenings between Gloucestershire 'n' Cotswald Hills. Close t' sundown I was nodding out 'n' Chas was grumbling so I directed 'im back towards Cheltenham. It was time t' make an appearance.

We drove up the Denmark Road outside of the city proper for some time, 'n' we finally saw Gloucester Castle off in the distance, or what was left of it anyway. History says that Gloucester and its environs played a big role in driving out the Romans way back when, or at least held the ground so's the Romans couldn't get a foothold. I'm not up on me local color, but I do know that a castle of sorts was built early on, 'round the early part of the last Millenium. It rose 'n' fell over the years so there's not too much left now except a ruined wall that encircles about three fourths of the manor house that sits there now and the surrounding lands. Kingsholm I think it was called, but who really cares, right?

The renovated manor house looks big though; four floors that I can see 'n' a sprawling place that's way more space than any one man should have. It's lit up like a Christmas tree, 'n' acts like our own personal lighthouse as we draw nearer. The sun's jus' starting down touching the hills on the horizon, 'n' by the Stranger's note I was jus' fashionably late.

I pointed out the main drive jus' as Chas started cranking the wheels towards the house 'n' figured I'd best leave the driving to him. Oddly, there was no outer wall around the grounds proper t' speak of, though I could see the remains of one that had fallen down mostly some years ago; what was left of the old Roman Wall I imagined. There was a garden out front that looked t' be mainly run down 'n' overgrown, and part of the huge side lawn 'ad been turned into a car park for the night's festivities it seemed as there was a baker's dozen of finer autos situated on the grass. I'm not up on me car makes 'n' models, but I recognized a Jaguar and a Benz Coup in the herd. There was a young bloke made up in local livery that I suspect was the valet. He gave me a smarmy little sneer as I got outta the car, probably 'cause there was no tip in 'is future.

Chas dropped me at the main doors that were lit up with pseudo gas sconces and decked in black crepe like somebody 'ad died 'n' rolled 'is cab about towards the service lot on the side a' the house. There were a few limousines already situated there, the drivers already looking bored 'n' pestering the cook's help at the side door. Chas would fit right in, 'n' I knew he could take care of 'isself, so that was one less thing I 'ad t' fret over. I straightened me collar 'n' lit a fag, then strolled up to the huge oaken doors 'n' slammed the knockers.

It wasn't long before the doors opened 'n' I was greeted by a gentile strum of music 'n' a stuffy little git dressed in last century's tails. The butler, I assumed. He was a good hand shorter than me, but somehow he managed to look down 'is nose as he cleared 'is throat and told me where the deliveries were supposed to go. I love the rich!

"Sorry, Guv. I'm a guest." He looked me up 'n' down like I was something he'd stepped in, so I pulled out the scrap of paper that the Stranger 'ad given me. It was jus' a 'post-it' note with the directions, but it wouldn't take much effort t' convince this fop that it was gold-plated and signed in crude. I 'eld it up 'n' he leaned in close to give it the proper scrutiny. I saw then as he was done up in stage pancake; white face with blush on 'is cheeks 'n' dark pencil t' the eyes. I wondered why for about a minute, at least until he straightened up 'n' gave me the evil eye again.

"This is a costume affair, sir…"

Nice of the Stranger t' mention that little tidbit. Still, I'm not without me resources. I gave Jeeves me best befuddled grin 'n' raked a hand back through me 'air-

"I'm in costume, mate. I'm that American detective from the telly- Columbo!"

I could see that he was straining t' fight about fifty years a' breeding for a bit, but he finally sighed and stepped to the side.

"Enjoy yourself… sir…"

I gave 'im me best shit-eating grin 'n' stepped inside.

I was impressed…

Where the outside grounds 'n' gardens were either overrun or half-finished, someone had gone to a lot of attention to make sure that the interior was jus' so. Past the large foyer I stepped into a huge main entry hall lit by three overhead crystal chandeliers. The entire room seemed to sparkle as a hidden internal air system chilled the place and set the chandeliers to twirling. There were two grand, sweeping staircases that led up to the second and third floors complete with winding banisters and lined with paintings that looked t' be priceless, 'least t' me. There were statues and suits of armor scattered about at appealing intervals, 'n' somebody 'ad placed several billowing plants about t' break up the monotony. The furnishings all looked old and rich, matching the deep, dark walnut that lined most of the walls and the dark intricate crimson Persian carpeting that covered most of the main floor and stairs. Wide Georgian windows stretched across the upper front frame of the house adding to the surreal lighting from the chandeliers and the last of the sunlight streaming red through the glass. I'm no fashion fop, but it all looked rather tasteful t' me untrained eyes.

In fact, the only thing unappealing about the interior of the manor house that I saw was the guests attending the party. A bigger group of posers I hadn't seen in some time.

The butler was right in that it was a costume party. Most of the guests seemed to be decked out in their finest, though at least a century out of date. The women were all in huge, sweeping gowns complete with bloomers and corsets, bustles and petticoats. They looked glamorous, I'll give 'em that, with their hair coifed to perfection 'n' their make-up jus' so, if not a bit 'eavy. The men were dressed in similar period attire; dark suits 'n' tuxedoes mainly, sporting waistcoats, spats 'n' watch chains 'n' fobs. Everyone wore a mask; the gentlemen wearing dominoes tied behind their 'eads, most of the ladies 'olding masks on a short stick. They were done up in their best, with jewelry and bangles, gold cufflinks and signet rings. This was a bit of society I'd stumbled into, 'n' I 'ave t' admit I was feeling jus' a bit underdressed.

The buzz of conversation all but stopped as I stepped into the hall. I could hear the murmur of whispers as I strolled across the floor, nodding right 'n' left as I made me way over t' the buffet table. I listened, 'n' I 'eard me name a time or two, but I couldn't make out who'd recognized me. Everyone was staring 'n' looking away- you know how these things go.

I reached the buffet without incident, 'n' me eyes nearly popped outta me 'ead. I've been to a few of these stylish affairs in me day, but this one 'ad enough food laid out t' feed the whole of the East End for a week. There was every kind of meat imaginable, breads and cakes, tiny sandwiches and hors d'oeuvres that I'd never seen in me life. There was an iced sea food bar with raw fish and octopus, squid, and a slab of salmon that would feed an army. There was a mound of caviar surrounded by a tower of crisps 'n' crackers in every shape 'n' size. The smells were mouth watering, and nauseating all at once. Everything 'ad been sampled too, with the exception of a lonely slab of tofu sitting in a tray of sesame oil. Go figure the decadent…

I was almost wishing that I hadn't 'ad the lamb stew at the pub, 'n' was piling a bit of rare beef on a slice of Italian bread when one of the party goers saddled up to the sushi bar 'n' gave me the queer eye. I smiled 'n' he took that as 'is cue that we were best mates-

"Fine affair, wot? Jolly good, I say." He was a burly looking posh boy- not thirty I imagine- with the look of the devil about 'im. Kind of bloke that makes the ladies swoon, 'n' apparently good on the jaw as well. Fair enough, as I needed a bit of inside talk-

"Fine fare," I says, gesturing at the buffet, "I'll give it that." He chortled-

"Cor, not by 'alf!" He looked me up 'n' down as he piled his china plate with a mound of raw shark 'n' wasabi. "You're a local then? How's the area, employment-wise I mean?" I figured him for a realtor then, or maybe a council man looking for a tidy move-

"Sorry, mate. I'm from the city." He looked a bit crest fallen for about a heart beat, but charged on ahead soon enough-

"I hear there's a surprise planned for the unmasking, then. A bit of the spectacular- spectacular, know what I mean?" I didn't of course, but made like I was in-

"Bit of all right that." I smirked, watching with jus' a bit of disgust as he slurped down a long, slimy bit of calamari. There went me appetite, 'n' I dropped me roast beef in the rubbish bin under the table. He smiled, 'n' when I saw 'is teeth stained with black squid oil I almost lost it. Me stomach was churnin'!

"You've seen some of the birds then? Blimey! I've not seen the like since Oxford."

Anything to look away as he dipped into the sushi, I scanned the crowd t' see what he was on about. There were a goodly number of birds looking like they were part of the entertainment. The staff of maids that were circulating through the crowd were barely dressed in black satin 'n' fishnets; short little uniforms that didn't leave a whole lot t' the imagination. I thought about Zatanna again for some reason. Can't imagine why.

Me new chum leaned in close, "I hear most of the staff was hired through an escort service." He grinned, but I tried not to look. He was probably right though. Not a one of the birds was ugly, 'n' most were closer to dazzling than not. Someone put out a shell of money for all of this. The Lord of the Manor I assumed, but for what reason? What was he selling? I 'ad no idea yet.

I made me excuses to me mate 'n' went off for a quick circuit, but not before he slipped me a business card. I nodded me thanks 'n' glanced at the embossed card as I walked away. I didn't recognize the name, but he was a commodities broker down from Worcester it seemed. I pocketed the card in with the other things I've gathered since the last time I got me coat laundered; a ball of twine, a bit of chalk 'n' a stubby candle, some spare change 'n' of course me fags 'n' a box of Lucifers jus' in case. You never know, y'know?

I strolled about the room trying to get a look at everything 'n' everybody all at once. I noticed straight away as the guests for the most part 'ad congregated in little groups about the hall. I 'eard snatches of conversation here 'n' there, but it all seemed rather blasé 'n' boring; stock options 'n' the housing trade, country homes 'n' trips abroad. It all seemed centered on money, but it was a bit queer, like a posh school party of the clique's 'n' famished.

I snagged a champagne on me way t' the bar. I figured if I was going t' endure a few hours of this I'd need a bit more encouragement. The conversation was boring, 'n' the conversants were dull as dishwater. The string quartet was more than competent, but their play list left a lot t' be desired. I'd been up for more than a few hours, 'n' it was starting to take its toll. I needed a crutch.

There were two comely birds at the bar waiting for a new tray, both dressed t' the nines in their French maid's outfits. One- a brunette- 'ad a fine little ass, 'n' the other 'ad a set a teats that wouldn't quit. Put the door knockers t' shame, they did. I saddled up t' the bar 'n' turned on the charm. Damned if I wasn't going t' get something out of this night.

"Evening, ladies." I smiled, looking the brunette over, up 'n' down. She was slipping 'er foot in and out of her patent pump, massaging 'er foot whilst she waited on 'er tray. I glanced at 'er ass again, then got a good look at 'er face as she blew 'er bangs out of 'er eyes. It was the barmaid from the pub!

"Well, fancy this then." She smiled wide 'n' gave her mate a nudge. Her partner 'ad a pair of dark eyes that made me weak in the knees 'n' a smile that literally sparkled. She was gorgeous, 'n' I 'ad t' blink to remember the barmaid. She smirked, suppressing a giggle.

"How was that lamb, Luv? Come back on ye yet?"

"No…" I was watching the blonde who was watching me, smiling nasty 'n' chewing on a curl of hair. "No! It was good, actually. Me compliments."

"I'll spread the word." She smirked, glancing between 'er mate 'n' me, then sighed, seeing what was happening. 'Course about then the bar tender slid two trays of champers down 'n' reminded the ladies of what they were being paid for. He told 'em t' go mingle, then cleared 'is throat t' get me attention as I was watching the pair walk away. The bird from the pub seemed normal enough, but t' other seemed t' float on 'er heels. I turned t' the burly bloke finally-

He was a handsome one too, 'n' like the valet 'n' the obvious security plants in the crowd I'd seen, was dressed in old fashioned livery; dark red velveteen jacket 'n' knickers with white socks 'n' trim. This one 'ad his long brown hair tied back in a tail with a black satin ribbon. He looked just a tad effeminate, 'n' a bit the bullyboy by the way 'is muscles rippled under the tight confines of 'is outfit.

"What'll it be then?"

"Give me a scotch, old son. Make it a double in fact."

"Sorry, Guv. Nothing straight, ceptin' the Chivas. Best I can do is a gin 'n' tonic, but it'll be a tonic 'n' gin."

I sighed. "Hit me mate."

I sipped at the watery liquor 'n' jus' watched the party. I wondered why somebody with the obvious wealth of whoever was throwing this affair would water down even the mildest drink. Even the champagne was low budget, not cheap mind, but not the best. Didn't want a drunken row I imagined, noticing that the crowd 'ad almost doubled it seemed whilst me back was turned. The maids were dancing about, flitting through the crowd with a little less ease 'n' the din of conversation 'ad risen tremendously with the new arrivals. I saw the pub bird boppin' across the floor 'n' figured she was here for a bit of extra money. She was a looker in 'er own right, but no where near the class of the rest.

Curiouser and curiouser-

"Just couldn't stay away, could you Constantine?"

For the third time that day I yelped like a girl. There's not many as can sneak up on me, but apparently Jason Blood is one of them. I turned t' find 'im at me elbow, sipping a drink that looked t' be a bit stronger than the fare I 'ad. He was dressed in a black Armani suit 'n' shoes with jus' a flair of nostalgia in the ascot at 'is neck. He looked good I'll admit, 'n' a bit pissed as well.

"You should leave, Constantine. Now! You're not needed here." I shrugged 'n' lit a fag, blowing smoke in 'is general direction-

"I was invited, old son. It's a bit posh for my tastes, and I'll admit t' being bored to tears, but I think I'll see it through t' the end. If that's all right by you, that is?"

"It most certainly is not." He grimaced, trying to hold 'is temper in check. He downed 'is drink 'n' turned to face me fully. "Leave, Constantine. For your own good! You should not be here."

He almost seemed concerned, but I ignored it. Blood's a conceited git. Always 'as been, as he thinks 'is shit don't stink 'cause of 'is lineage. Hell, I 'ave skeletons in me own closet-

"You're a rude boy, Blood. Why don't you show me the door then?"

I almost thought he was going to when someone stepped up behind Blood. He was taller than both of us 'n' dressed in party fashion, though a bit more extreme. He wore a lavender leather jacket that 'ung to 'is hips 'n' black jodhpurs with matching riding boots 'n' a frilly, lacy white shirt underneath a black waistcoat. He 'ad dirty blonde hair, long 'n' tied back in a tail as well as a mustache 'n' goatee trimmed to perfection. He was 'andsome, I'll give 'im that, in a feral sort of way. He smiled wide 'n' put a big 'and on Blood's shoulder, holding 'im back.

"Jason… You're tense. What seems to be the problem?" Blood glanced at the hand on 'is shoulder but oddly didn't shrug it off. He almost looked humble.

"A party crasher, Arcady. His name's Constantine."

The man, Arcady looked me over like I was 'is next meal, then smiled again. "Nonsense, Jason. I'm certain that I saw Mister Constantine's name on the list of guests. Besides, he's a friend of yours, so quite welcome."

Blood gave me a withering look. "John Constantine's no friend of mine, and you would do well to have him tossed out as a vagrant." Arcady chuckled-

"Nonsense!" he said again and extended 'is 'and. I took it and winced at 'is grip. His skin was cold to the touch, and I realized that I was shivering suddenly.

"Enjoy the party, Mister Constantine. I am so glad that you could attend."

"Charmed." I said shaking his hand before he wrapped 'is arm about Blood's shoulder and led 'im towards the front of the hall by the stairs. It was going on ten o'clock- I don't know where the time went- and apparently it was time for the host to make 'is appearance. I wondered jus' what Blood 'ad t' do with anything 'n' made me way closer t' the front. I didn't want t' miss this…

Part 5

News at Ten

Arcady raised his arms for silence, 'n' after a bit the din died to a low murmur and finally total quiet. I could feel the press of the crowd at me back, 'n' I was feeling that chill again as the Lord of the Manor scanned the crowd with a hungry smile. Blood looked a bit glazed by then, with that expression he was wearing back at the pub in town. I was wondering what this was all about, 'n' it looked as though I was about t' find out-

"Ladies… Gentlemen… Honored guests… I am so glad to see so many of you in attendance tonight. It warms my heart…" there was a low chuckle that rolled through the crowd, though I couldn't figure the joke. "This is a most auspicious occasion, and it is well that we are all gathered. Our very future rests on your attendance I fear, and our strength lies in our numbers." There was a round of applause and a nodding of heads. It looked as though most of the crowd knew what Arcady was talking about, but a few faces were confused- my own included. It was some power deal, but I didn't 'ave a clue.

"We are honored tonight by our most special guest." He went on and presented Blood who was looking a bit queasy by then. "Jason Blood has of course offered to join our cause, and with his aid I believe that we shall reach our goals in short order. Mister Blood, as I'm certain most of you are aware, is a very unique individual, and with him on our side I feel that victory will be assured. He has consented to our proposal, and all that remains is to seal the deal.

"Now I know that at gala affairs such as this, the unmasking is most often saved and savored at midnight, however…" I could feel the crowd behind me getting restless, starting to murmur and rustle about again, though I couldn't seem to tear myself away from Arcady to see what the ruckus was. He was a bit magnetic-

"We shall be a bit pressed for time at the Witches' Hour, so I believe that we shall have the unveiling…

"Now!"

I heard a scream, 'n' that was enough of a shock t' get me t' turn away from Arcady. Me eyes grew wide at what I saw going on with the crowd.

It was like a scene from that old Roman Polanski movie; The Fearless Vampire Hunters! The party 'ad turned into a blood bath! Half of the guests were apparently undead 'n' ripping into the half that weren't. There were Vampires everywhere, grabbing 'n' biting 'n' sucking the blood out of anyone that moved.

The masks were gone, and I saw that the undead were looking gaunt 'n' worn. They were in the bloodlust, 'n' made no pretense of humanity. They were frail looking, thin 'n' pale, but I knew that they 'ad the upper hand. Even at their weakest, a Vampire is incredibly strong, 'n' despite what you see in the movies there's only a few things that will slow them down. Holy Water's the best. It burns off their skin 'n' makes a lasting impression they're not soon t' forget. Garlic gives 'em pause, but not much if they have any kind of willpower. Crosses are nice, if you 'ave the faith, but most of this crowd gave up God a long time ago. Cor, if it wasn't so revolting I'd say that most of the guests here deserved t' get what they got. Eat the rich took on a whole new meaning.

I saw me mate from the buffet table go under a swarm of three. He was fighting 'n' screaming, but he was no match for the ungodly strength of the undead. They forced 'im down 'n' before too long he stopped kicking. The bird from the pub came running by, a pouf on 'er arse with 'is teeth hanging out 'n' drooling like a bloodhound. She was screaming to beat the band, her tits having flopped outta 'er skimpy uniform 'n' bouncing about like two big pillows. I stuck me leg out 'n' tripped up her pursuer, hoping I'd bought 'er enough time t' get the fuck outta dodge. The shit what was chasing 'er went down in a sprawl like a sack of potatoes. He glared at me, but I jus' shrugged, suckin' me fag.

He leapt to 'is feet 'n' hissed at me, 'n' I was ready t' waste a spell when a bird went running by. He sniffed 'n' gave chase, sparing me for the moment. I saw the crowd falling, bit by bit. There was blood everywhere, 'n' for a moment I 'ad one of those moments when everything came together. I looked out over the crowd, watching as the Vampires dug into whatever mortal was at 'and. There was blood everywhere, 'n' I finally saw the patterns in the carpeting; intricate designs woven into the floor that jus' needed a bit a' the juice t' get things started. There were interlaced pentagrams 'n' pentangles glowing in the bloodbath as the life juices of the guests hit the ground, feeding the sigils. I saw runes lighting up in the turmoil, 'n' knew that the undead were sacrificing as well as feeding. They were stowing power for something, the life power, sacrificing a score or two of mortals t' feed some pre-ordained spell that was written into the floor. I'd missed it totally, damn it! Now I was going t' pay!

I turned back to Arcady, but he was already gone, leading Blood away towards a door that no doubt led t' some sinister chamber down below. It had taken a moment t' figure it all out, but I got the gist now. Blood wasn't the guest of honor! It was Etrigan!

I started after Blood 'n' Arcady, tryin' me best t' ignore what was going on around me, but I didn't get three steps before I was cut off by the bird with the knockers. She smiled 'n' hissed, trying t' focus 'er gaze on me 'n' get me under 'er spell. I have t' admit that it took me a second t' gather me wits. She was a looker, despite the taint that twisted her skin 'n' bones 'n' made 'er look t' be death warmed over. Her dark eyes were sparkling when I mumbled out a spell-

Frangere!

I saw the bitch spit blood as 'er body spasmed. Her eyes went wide as she shook, 'n' even over the din of the raucous I could hear 'er bones snapping. I watched 'er body twist in odd ways for about a heartbeat then shoved past 'er, knocking her down. She started screaming in agony, 'n' I knew that she'd heal eventually, but she'd go through a bit of pain first as me spell worked its way through 'er body, braking every bone from 'ead t' toe. She was in for a world of hurt, but it served 'er right, playing with me fragile affections like she did.

I ran after Blood 'n' Arcady…

I saw them, Arcady leading Blood on. They rounded a corner 'n' disappeared through a doorway with me 'ot on their 'eels. I charged on, shoving me way through the riff-raff 'n' rounded the corner jus' a few steps behind-

Something flashed before me face 'n' I felt a world a' hurt as it rammed up into me nose. I saw stars 'n' fell flat on me arse, shaking me 'ead 'n' trying me best t' get me bearings. I looked up 'n' saw Jeeves the butler staring down at me with a conceited little smirk whilst he adjusted the cuffs on 'is jacket. I blinked, trying to figure what was happening, 'n' the little shit rammed 'is foot up under me chin, slamming me 'ead up against the cold, 'ard stone wall.

The darkness dropped over me like a blanket…

Part 6

Last Scream of the Missing Neighbors

I woke with an ache 'n' the sour taste of blood in me mouth. Somebody 'ad 'ad a go with me whilst I was out, 'n' I was hurting. Me ribs ached, 'n' I could feel some pain in me stomach 'n' arse like somebody 'ad kicked the shit outta me when I was down. Not a feeling I liked, but one that I was plenty familiar with.

I moaned 'n' spat 'n' tried t' sit up. I struggled 'n' had jus' noticed that me 'ands was tied behind me back when I felt cold fingers grabbing at me collar 'n' hoisting me up off of the cool, damp stone. I glanced up 'n' saw the bar tender standing over me with a wicked grin. He licked 'is lips 'n' I saw the overlong canines 'n' knew that I was screwed, at least for the moment.

It was dark, wherever I was, the faintest light coming from a few flickering torches 'n' candles set about the room. The 'room' itself was a dungeon of sorts, straight out of one of the old Hammer flicks with Peter Cushing 'n' Christopher Lee. There was a rack set in one corner 'n' a pendulum in the other. There were hanging cages complete with old 'n' rotting skeletons and a brazier burning red hot coals 'n' smoking something fierce. There was about two dozen 'people' milling about in the room's center, all dressed in dark, woolen robes 'n' all mumbling in the dark tongue. They were Vampires right enough by the pallid color of their skin 'n' the way they stood despite whatever drugs they'd taken t' get in the mood. I expected they were all bloated from the party before, but I'm not one t' cast judgement like that.

They were all arranged in a circle more or less, standing about a bit of scripture that'd been chiseled into the floor. Whilst I watched I saw that they were going about their Circle of Power, chanting t' some dark god 'n' spilling a bit of the blood they'd stolen into the sigils by biting into their flesh 'n' bleeding on the markings. The floor smoldered 'n' flared with each new gift, 'n' there was a general mood of ecstasy what swept over the gathering with every drop that spilt. They didn't break stride throughout, 'n' I caught a few of the words as they added potency t' whatever spell they were enacting-

Give us strength!

Free us!

Make us one!

Me 'ead was still reeling from the blow I'd took, so it was a bit before I managed t' piece it all together. I should 'ave seen the signs; the chilled air in the manor house, the over abundance of raw meat at the buffet. Hell, it was Halloween 'n' a full moon t' boot! Fuck me for an idiot, but I'd missed every sign. It was the perfect night for a Coven t' cast a spell, 'n' the Stranger 'ad given me the biggest hint of all-

They follow the way of the blood, Constantine. The way of death…

Bloody Hell! I was smack in the middle of the Cult of the Blood Red Moon, 'n' I'd walked right in without a clue…

Bugger me!

I didn't know the whole story of the Cult of the Blood Red Moon, though I'd 'ad a go with them through the Tim Hunter affair. I 'eard the best bits from Zatanna, 'n' she got the story second 'and from the Bat, reading the Super Friend files near as I could tell. Seems the original cult was put together by a Vampira named Mary- Bloody Mary they called 'er. She was old by the undead standards t' begin with- turned a few centuries back- but it seems there was more involved than the typical 'suck your blood' rhetoric. Seems she was some incarnation of ancient Egypt or some such drivel 'n' had some plan to make 'er immortal life more bearable by inventing a potion t' allow 'er kith 'n' kin t' be out in the sun. It was a big t' do, 'n' somehow the Bat got involved along the way, but in the end it was 'er ex-lover what did 'er in. Seems the beast killed beauty…

Andrew Bennett 'ad turned Mary after 'e'd been turned 'isself. All that he wanted was t' share immortality with the woman he loved, but Mary wanted more than life as the undead ever lasting. She wanted a go at power too, 'n' screwed Bennett big time for 'is troubles. He spent the rest of 'is unlife trying t' set things straight. In the end- 'n' I'm not quite up on exactly what happened as Zee was a bit in the dark- Bennett killed Mary 'n' ended 'is own undead existence, squashing 'er plans 'n' destroying whatever she'd built. One of those things was the Cult of the Blood Red Moon.

After Mary's death they wandered about in a daze for a bit looking for purpose. All of Mary's get were lost without 'er, 'n' their human ghouls 'n' followers were even more in the dark. They gathered together later on when most of the spiritual world had a hard on for young Tim, 'n' me 'n' the Trenchcoat Brigade went a round or two with their assassins, such as they were. The Cult of the Blood Red Moon was pretty much defunct last I heard, but 'seems now as they've 'ad a resurgence of popularity in both their living supporters as well as the undead.

So here I stand, egg on my face…

I see Arcady at the head of the Circle. He's got 'is back to me, but I recognize that mane of hair 'n' figure it must be 'im by the size of the blade he's waving about. He's mumbling 'n' chanting. I recognize a bit of what he's saying, not so much the spell but the intonation. It's a Summoning…

I put two and two together as soon as I see the body splayed out on the stone slab before 'im. It was chained down with thick iron shackles about its wrists 'n' ankles 'n' another sturdy bit about 'is waist. His skin was etched and bleeding, covered with sigils and runes, some of which I recognized, but most of which that were unknown. He wasn't struggling, which meant that he was enchanted- or maybe a willing participant, which was unlikely. He wasn't gagged, but then he wouldn't be, would he?

Jason Blood 'ad been trying to sever 'is connection with the demon, Etrigan, for decades if not centuries. Blood was the human host, the earthly link of the demon Etrigan to the Mortal Plane. He was allegedly Merlin's apprentice, 'n' Merlin was allegedly the brother of the devil, 'n' the devil was the alleged ruler of Hell 'n' all of its demons, 'n' Etrigan was a demon…

It didn't take a genius to figure out what was happening. What I didn't understand was the why. Why did Arcady want Etrigan separated from Jason Blood? An Etrigan free of his human restraints was not something that I cared to imagine. Was Arcady so arrogant that he thought he could actually entrap the demon- bind Etrigan to his will? I hoped not, but I started struggling all the harder, just in case.

"Arcady! Stop!" Hell, I 'ad to try, didn't I? "You don't know what you're doing!"

The bartender smacked me upside the head for me efforts, 'n' me ears started ringing from the blow. He was a vampire, 'n' apparently didn't know 'is own strength. Or maybe he jus' didn't care. I staggered a bit more than I needed to, shaking me 'ead like I was dazed as I inched towards the stairs that would lead me down t' the festivities proper. Me guard didn't 'ave a clue until it was too late. I 'eard 'im shout, but I was already at the steps-

I charged down the stairs as fast as I could, despite me aches 'n' pains, despite me hands being bound. I slammed against the walls, momentum propelling me forward, but as I rounded the final curve I realized that I was too late! Arcady was reading the final bit of the incantation-

Gone, gone o form of man…

Bring forth the demon… Etrigan!

I was bloody screwed…

We all were…

Part 7

Bat Out of Hell

I saw Blood convulse. His body arched as he writhed up in agony. The runes 'n' sigils that had been drawn 'n' carved into 'is skin 'ad started to glow, a few of them erupting in fire as they lit with power. He was straining at the chains holding 'im t' the alter, 'is muscles bulging, 'is veins ready t' burst. I saw blood fly from 'is mouth as he bit through 'is tongue, 'n' I could smell 'is flesh sizzling. He screamed-

'Bout then the bartender came dropping outta the sky t' land right in front of me. He had a nasty look on 'is face as he sneered 'n' he 'issed 'is frustrations. I wasn't in the mood jus' then, so I kicked 'im in the balls! What can I say? I was desperate. Still, it worked. The bartender squealed like a bitch 'n' dropped to 'is knees. No matter what you see in the movies, Vampires still need t' eat 'n' drink if they want t' keep that glossy sheen t' their hair 'n' skin. Bones degrade, so they need calcium. They regenerate mind, but they still 'ave t' keep up their health. They piss, 'n' they can fuck! In a word, their balls work.

The bar boy's whining like a little girl when I jam the 'eel of me shoe into 'is mouth! He spits blood 'n' falls back with a nice thump, 'is 'ead bouncing off the stone floor. I charge right over 'im before he even stops moving. I know I'm probably too late, but it's what I get paid for, don't I?

There's an explosion of fire from the circle, 'n' clouds of brimstone come waftin' outta nowhere, churning 'n' billowing around the dungeon. I wince 'n' start hacking as the smoke chokes me. I recognize the scent of Hell straight off, 'n' it makes me want t' vomit! I was expecting it though, 'n' I manage t' 'old it down. From what I hear however, most of the cult aren't so lucky.

They're spewin' blood like geysers, 'n' even through the thick smoke I can see that they're fucking up the circle. Blood's a powerful potable, 'n' it's used in almost every spell worth its weight. Arcady might know that, but odds are 'is followers don't know shit as they let fly wherever they're standing. I try t' call out 'n' get 'em all t' back off, but I start hacking again 'n' lose me train. It's about then I hear a scream.

There's a shadow growing solid in the center of the circle, heaving with great breaths 'n' stretching like it jus' broke free of some restraint- which it 'ad in a certain respect. It's big, even all hunkered down 'n' scratchin' at the stone 'n' I can see the glow of 'is eyes cutting through the clouds of smoke. It's all quite surreal 'n' mysterious, like a Kawasawa film, with moonlight filtering down from reflections upstairs 'n' the sigils all aglow on the floor. If not for the Vampires spitting blood it'd almost be pretty.

The circle breaks of course, despite Arcady's shouts for 'is followers t' hold the line. The markings in the floor are obscured by the blood 'n' the scuffling feet, 'n' I don't even know if Arcady finished the Binding. I figured not as I saw the shadowy form in the center of the pentagram stand tall 'n' grab the closest Mooner, pulling 'er in 'n' sinking 'is fangs into 'er jugular. They really started screamin' then!

The smoke was starting t' thin when I finally found me bollocks 'n' ran forward again. I could see the demon, 'is great, gaping mouth sunk into the throat of some cow 'n' sucking 'er dry, gnawing on 'er flesh. The bird's eyes were rolled up into 'er 'ead, 'n' I could see as she was done as Etrigan was lapping away, gathering 'is strength. He looked jus' as I'd remembered 'im; yellow, withered skin 'n' big bat ears webbed 'n' flapping in the breeze coming down from the manor through the vents. He 'as 'orns, 'n' he wears a cloak 'n' this gaudy red tunic with matching booties, like he thinks he's a super hero or something. They call 'im the demon that thinks he's 'alf a man, 'n' I guess in a way they're not far from the truth.

He drops the Vampire 'n' steps up to the edge of the pentagram, flashing a wide grin. His teeth gnash, 'n' I wonder why they don't jus' shatter as they seem t' stick out in every direction at once. He chuckles 'n' it chills me t' the marrow-

Long has it been, and in truth I did fear
this day would never come!
I should have known of course, and in my mind would ken
that one day I would be free to leer, to feast and feat
and in the end to call the sum!

Blood was the key, the lock, and in the end
the ban! You did trust however,
and take stock, and once again I round the bend,
to walk the land, the Demon- Etrigan!

The Cult of the Blood Red Moon was scattering. The ones that still 'ad a bit of sense anyway were cutting their losses 'n' running for the exits. They were hurt 'n' losing blood, 'n' most would be lucky t' find a refill 'fore they dried up 'n' blew away. Chas was out there 'course, but I knew he 'ad the sense t' stay outta their way soon as he saw 'em come charging outta the manor house. Chas knew that there was more than one way t' kill a Vampire.

Arcady however was actin' the ass. He still thought he 'ad a 'andle on the situation 'n' was spoutin' orders at whoever was in earshot. He was riling 'n' raging, screaming at the top of 'is lungs 'n' bearing 'is teeth t' show 'is power. Etrigan laughed that laugh he 'as, 'n' I jus' 'ad t' join in. Arcady looked the fool about then, 'n' I knew what was coming. I 'ad bigger concerns.

"Demon!" he shouted, "Bow down before thy master! I have called thee forth to do my bidding, and then thou shalt be free!"

What a prick. He was talking like Shakespeare, like he thought that gave 'im an edge. I don't think he realized that 'is foot was on the scripture, breaking the pentagram. Etrigan knew though. I could see it in 'is eyes. The demon glanced at Blood 'n' saw that he was still breathing. I knew that blood 'ad t' die for Etrigan t' be truly free, but I 'ad a bit of time yet. Etrigan would deal with Arcady soon enough, then I'd 'ave t' deal with 'im.

You set me free, that is true, and for that have my gratitude!
Know this though that my fee is nothing that you might exclude.
I have my cost and I will sue. Your minions you may keep! Your soul however
that is lost! O'er your undead life you must now weep!

"What?"

I saw Arcady glance about, and I think that he realized that 'is followers 'n' flunkies 'ad run off for the first time. He was alone, 'n' I think jus' a bit worried. He tried though, I'll give 'im that-

"I ligare tu!"

Latin. They always try Latin, like that's the end all t' power. His pronunciation sucks, 'n' I won't even start on 'is evocative. I thought maybe there was a chance, but I see right off that Arcady's struggling. I do Etrigan a favor 'n' kick Arcady in the arse, shoving 'im into the circle. He staggers forward, trying not to fall as he's scooped up by the Demon. Etrigan laughs that nasty laugh of 'is…

'I bind thee', you were trying to say. A worthy endeavor I must admit!
Pity more the day you thought better, that day you did see
the light that binds, the words that hold sway and you did find the meaning,
that finds the life, the key! Hold fast mockery of life and pray! Your end is near, here, and I am that which you did free!

Etrigan grabbed Arcady at the collar and pulled 'im fully into the circle. The Vampire fought, but 'is strength was nothing compared to a Demon Lord's, 'n' Etrigan didn't even work up a sweat. He hawked a gob of saliva 'n' spit fiery death right into Arcady's face. The Vampire Lord squirmed for a bit, then started t' scream as the Hellfire burned into 'is skin. Etrigan 'eld on tight, laughing like Demon Lords do, 'n' before long Arcady stopped 'is struggles 'n' jus' burned. Etrigan dropped the Lord of the Cult of the Blood Red Moon 'n' turned 'is attention my way.

Constantine! I know you! A mage of wealth and taste!
It warms my heart to find you here, these wonders to be seen.
I would be hard pressed to prove that I had been freed in haste,
my new master burned in flame.

Your word is bond however,
known in circles far and low, respected by the highest
high, dear sir, and again deep down below. I have faith,
a rare thing for my kith, that you will do me right
and say what is just and true- not myth!
Your word shall be my fame!

It took a moment to turn 'is rhyme into something that I could fathom, but I eventually got the gist. He was free, more or less, the ties t' Blood severed, but what he didn't 'ave apparently was a backer in the real world. Arcady's spell 'ad severed 'is link t' Jason Blood, but he couldn't jus' run willy-nilly out into the world without some kind of anchor. There were rules after all…

"Me word ain't shite if I don't want t' give it. Free me 'ands, Luv. I need a fag!"

I stood with me back t' the circle. I was taking a chance, not knowing jus' how much power Etrigan really 'ad. He hadn't left the pentagram yet, so I figured he was edgy. Maybe Arcady 'ad actually trapped 'is arse, 'n' he need a bit more t' let 'im loose. I paid me money 'n' took me chances, holding me arms out into the pentagram-

I felt the slash, Etrigan's nails slicing through me bonds. I rubbed me wrists 'n' took a fag outta me pack in me jacket. I lit it 'n' turned about, facing me new friend eye t' eye.

"You're stuck, aren't you?"

I heard Blood moan 'n' roll about on the alter stone. He was still alive, 'n' I knew what was 'olding Etrigan in place.

Ignore the man upon yon slab! His day is done
and I am free! Give the word! Denounce the ban!
I'll pay your tab! Slay Blood now and you will see!
Just say the word. I'll pay your fee!

I took a long drag off me Silk Cut 'n' gave the Demon a good, 'ard look. Arcady 'ad fucked up. I don't know what he was planning; maybe a bit of house cleaning with Etrigan at 'is back. Wipe out the world of darkness with a demon straight outta Hell maybe. Wealth, power… I dunno.

He fucked up. Etrigan was a step outta reality, 'n' the only thing stopping 'im was Jason Blood's last breath. If I killed Blood, Etrigan would be free. If I let Blood live, odds were the demon would get sucked back into Merlin's original spell 'n' be at Blood's beck 'n' call again. Me third choice was t' bind the demon t' me own will…

Bugger that!

I flicked me butt into the circle, 'n' me 'n' Etrigan watched as the sigils flared with a new fire. Etrigan spit 'n' cursed me t' Hell 'n' back. Been there, done that…

"Gone, gone o Etrigan!

"Return the demon to the man!"

Etrigan screamed as the fire flared about 'im. He wasn't hurt, or afraid. His screams were from the agony that he would endure, trapped at the whim of Jason Blood again. At least until the next time. I watched as he vanished, disappearing in a wisp of smoke, then I turned me attention on Blood 'isself.

It didn't take no time before the manor house started t' rumble 'n' quake. It was coming down on me 'ead, but I 'ad t' get Blood free before I could get out. If he died like this, the Demon would be free regardless, 'n' me arse would be up for grabs again.

I tugged on Blood's chains 'n' looked at what was left of Arcady. I figured he 'ad the keys t' the shackles, but he was little more than a lump of charred flesh on the floor. If he 'eld the key, it was slag by now.

I 'ad nothing. I'd used me Rumble on the bird back upstairs. I still 'ad a Heal 'n' a Flame, but I didn't figure as they'd be any help.

"Leave me, Constantine…"

Blood stared up at me, 'is eyes fading in and out as he tried t' focus on me. He tugged at 'is bonds, but didn't really try t' get free.

"When I die the demon will be trapped again in Hell. Merlin's curse will be broken, and I will be finally be free."

Something exploded behind me 'n' I felt the heat of the fire as it washed over the room. Amazing how hellfire burns across stone. I stared down at Blood, 'n' he smiled, thinking he'd won. I 'ad a bit of insight jus' then, however, 'n' I remembered the poor bird from the pub, jus' out t' make a bit of extra cash.

"Sorry, Luv…"

Blood's eyes went wide as I put me palm on 'is forehead 'n' called forth the word of power. I could feel it on the tip of me tongue, ready t' burst.

Curare!

Way I figured, if Blood dies he wins. Etrigan's free, jus' trapped in Hell until somebody figures a way t' get 'im out. Blood goes on t' the after life, his conscious clear as he can't get free of the bonds t' save 'is arse. If I don't save 'im, then I'm the fuck that set the Demon free. If I do manage t' save Blood though, the status quo is satisfied 'n' things get back t' normal.

I use one of me saved spells on Blood. The Heal! I watch as the sigils carved into Blood's skin scab over. His burns heal, and even the rawness at 'is wrists 'n' ankles fades away. The spell will keep him going through the fire, as it lasts a bit. Gloucester Castle could crumble down on top of 'is conceited arse but he'll come through pretty much unscathed. Blood will live, 'n' Etrigan will be linked to 'im again since the runes that Arcady carved into his skin will be gone.

Works for me…

Blood curses me out like a longshoreman as I turn 'n' walk away. He knows what I did, 'n' he knows what'll happen in the end. It's going t' hurt, 'n' I can't say as I'm sorry. Jason Blood's an arse 'n' deserves every little bit a shit t' come 'is way.

I make me way back upstairs 'n' outta the dungeons. The Cult of the Blood Red Moon's nowhere in sight, scattered t' the wind. With Arcady done, I figure that's the last that anyone will hear of them for a time. The main floor's smoky but the fire hasn't caught up t' me yet from down below. The carpets are soaked in blood, 'n' the bodies of the party guests are still scattered across the floor, used up 'n' forgotten. I count over two dozen bodies that were victims of the cult. Drained of blood, I'm fairly certain that they're all dead, more or less. Still, there's always a chance that a few of them were turned…

Would there be another wave of undead stalking the streets of Cheltenham in a night or two? Would I have t' come back 'n' deal with some mess that I should 'ave, could 'ave dealt with here 'n' now? I was tired, 'n' didn't even want t' think about it as I headed for the doors. I lit a fag 'n' looked back at the dead. I saw the bird from the pub 'n' flicked me Lucifer out into the mess. Fire flared in a spot a' spilt gin, washing over the expensive Persian rugs without a care-

Flagare!

The room burst into flame! Fire ran across the floor and up the walls as though it were alive. The dead bodies exploded as the flames washed over them, only a handful squirming in the heat. The furniture vanished! The draperies fell to ash! I gave the room a final glance 'n' nod and stepped outside, closing the door behind me…

Part 8

Sympathy for the Devil

I caught up with Chas about a kilometer up the Denmark Road. What with the full moon 'n' the fire blazing at me back, I 'ad no trouble seeing where I was going or what he was about. He was sitting on the hood of 'is taxicab smoking a fag 'n' tipping back a silver flask. He looked shaken, but he 'eld out the flask t' me as I approached. I took it 'n' took a drink outta courtesy. It was whiskey. I almost emptied it 'fore I handed it back.

"Bloody Hell, John! What the fuck was that about?" His eyes were huge as I leaned against 'is cab. We watched the fire for a bit before he went on-

"I was rollin' bones with the other drivers when alluva sudden there was this explosion. Couple of the blokes started screamin' 'n' 'issin' as they was burnin' up. The rest ran as the devil 'isself was on their tails. I waited a bit, but didn't see you, so I lit out too. Sorry, but I got a family t' think of."

I shrugged. "You did right, Chas. You always do."

"An' what did you do, John Constantine? I know you 'ad a 'and in that!" Chas motioned at the fire, still burning bright in the distance 'n' I shrugged again-

"What I 'ad to, Chas. Jus' like always." Chas snorted 'n' took another swallow before handing me back the flask. I swirled it about 'n' gave 'im a nod-

"Cheers, mate."

I downed the last.

It was almost done…

THE END

Story © 2004 Curt Fernlund and may not be reproduced without permission.