Keystone City. Karen Starr's apartment.

Wally West stood in the woman's apartment, perplexed. A moment ago -- or eighteen years ago, depending on how you spread your butter -- he'd been trapped in the year 1983. He'd come home by focusing on his anchor.

His anchor -- the woman who tied him to the world, who kept him in check, who shone above all the rest.

Except ... that anchor was supposed to be Linda Park, his fiancee, and here he was eye-to-eye (okay, except when his eyes dropped down eighteen inches or so) with Power Girl. Karen Starr. His former Justice League Europe teammate, because he wasn't just Wally West, he was --


Flash The Fastest Man Alive:

THE FLASH

"Angels"

 

Flash #5 - May, Year One by Bill Kte'pi

"So, Karen."

"Flash." She had apparently been sitting on the couch, and jumped up when he zoomed in. She still looked unsteady on her feet.

"You can call me Wally, you know. I mean, we've known each other for years." He remembered sleeping with her. Oh, geez. How weird was that? But he could remember what the other Flash had been doing at the time, too ...

She gave him the eye. Not the frosty Power Girl stare she used to give him when she was angry -- something different. Curiosity and wariness. "Wally. Then you're -- the other Flash."

"The only Flash, now."

Curious turned to crestfallen. "Ah. So -- the other one --"

"We merged together again. It's a long story."

"Always is. So, you're here to ..."

He shook his head. "I have no idea. Blip in the timestream or something. Look, I'll catch you later -- I have to --"

"Go see Linda?" Crestfallen turned to accusatory.

"And Max and Jay. Let everyone know I'm back okay."

"Sure."

He just stood there for awhile, watching her. Still wondering why he was here, and why he wasn't leaving.

She kissed him, or he kissed her, or -- he wasn't sure, and thinking back on it later still had no idea. Sometimes things moved too fast even for the fastest man alive.

It was hours before he left ... and when he did he had the nagging feeling he'd agreed to something, even though no words had been spoken.


"Welcome back, Wally," Jay said, visibly relieved. He'd gathered the four of them -- Jay, Max, Bart, Linda -- as soon as he was ... done ... at Karen's. "And just one Wally, I take it?"

"Just one." He explained the time trip, glossing over the issue of the anchor as much as possible -- and making no mention of Karen. "So," he concluded. "Everything's cool now."

Max and Jay seemed amicable enough with that, and likely sensed some tension from Linda, because at once, Jay said, "Well, I've got some things to take care of with the Justice Society" just as Max said, "All right, Bart, time to head home before you miss any more school."

Everyone was silent for a minute, and Linda picked up the conversational ball. "Thanks for everything, Max, Jay. Bart, keep out of trouble, but call any time, okay? It was good to see everyone again."

With the social finesse Wally associated with his mother and grandmother, with aunts the world over, Linda ushered everyone out the door, closed it, and turned to look at him. "What'd you leave out?"

"What do you mean?"

"Wally, you've never been able to lie to me. You're hiding something. You look guilty, you sound nervous, and when you explained how you got home, you were talking a mile a minute. So what's going on?"

He sat down. Stood back up again. Too much energy. "Listen, here's the thing. It was some kind of -- look, there was weird stuff going on with the Speed Force is all --"

"But?"

"But, when I focused on my anchor, to get back home --"

"When you focused on me."

"Well --"

The doorbell rang, and he was at the door and opening it before the sound even reached Linda's ears. Of all the people he might have expected to see -- and he'd be grateful for anyone, up to and including Professor Zoom or Plastic Man, who could provide a distraction -- this wasn't one of them.

Nowhere on his list did a gorilla appear. If he DID have a list of gorillas he'd expect to see, Gorilla Grodd would probably be the only one on the list, since he'd been such a thorn in Barry's side -- maybe an escaped gorilla from the zoo would be on the list somewhere. A gorilla in blue jeans and a Monkees T-shirt? Nope. Nowhere on the list.

"Flash," the gorilla said warmly. "Do you remember me? Sam Simeon."

"Gorilla Grodd's grandson," Wally said after a moment, and grinned, and turned to Linda. "Linda! It's Sam Simeon! Gorilla Grodd's grandson!"

"The evil supervillain gorilla from Gorilla City who tried to take over the world a few times?"

"Yeah, that one. Sam's not evil, though. Sam! You're not evil, right?"

"Not evil."

"Cool. See, he's not evil!"

"So I heard."

Wally kept that stupid grin on his face and tried to keep the conversation going. "So, Sam, what can we do for you?"

"Well, if you're busy --"

"Not at all!" Wally pulled him in, and closed the door behind him. "What are Flashes for?"

Sam grinned. "Great. Listen -- I've got a problem -- I could use your help. I talked to the folks at the Flash Museum, and they said I'd need to talk to you."

"You want a tour? The Flash Museum's great -- I can't believe they wouldn't let you in just cause you're a gorilla. I mean, it's not like you smell bad or anything." Boy, Wally just couldn't stop talking.

Sam shook his head, and sat down after an awkward moment. He looked like he was trying to keep from sniffing himself. "It's not that. Look, I need to turn my girlfriend into a gorilla."

Okay, now everyone was silent.

"You need --" Wally said, after a moment.

"To turn my girlfriend into a gorilla, yeah. See ..." Sam shook a cigarette out of a pack. "You mind if I smoke?"

There was a gorilla smoking in his living room. "Go right ahead."

"Okay, here's the thing. I've got this girl, Angel O'Day? I don't remember if you've met. We run a detective agency, Angel and the Ape."

"But you're not an ape, you're a gorilla."

"Alliteration, all right? Anyway -- oh, I did it again."

"Hm?"

"Alliteration. The repetition of sounds, particularly when such repetition occurs at the beginnings of words or syllables."

"Right."

"Anyway, I'd like ... to marry her."

"Good for you!"

"Right. But, see, Solovar --"

"Ruler of Gorilla City," Wally explained, for Linda's benefit, although she knew that already, he was sure.

"Yep, him. Solovar has a rule: no humans in Gorilla City. Mind you, that's been broken a few time for you costumed types, but for permanent residents, he just won't bend. Likewise, if I marry a human -- I can't go home again. Ever. So ... Angel had this idea, see, that if she were a gorilla --"

"You're kidding me."

"I'm not. Yeah, it sounds wacky, but -- that's love, right?"

"I guess so. But -- I mean, I'm fast, but that's pretty much my limit. Being fast. Not so much with turning people into gorillas."

"Yeah. But Gorilla Grodd did it once -- he had a ray that turned people into gorillas. Even used it on the other Flash once. He had this idea, he was going to turn Keystone into another Gorilla City, where he could rule..."

"I think I remember hearing about that."

"Well, as far as I know, it's in the Flash Museum."

"Seriously?"

"Yep."

"I think I remember seeing it, come to think of it."

"Well, so, I was wondering -- could I borrow it?"

Linda hadn't said a word, Wally noticed. She had to realize he was stalling. "Sure! Let's go right now." He had the door open before he was finished talking, and nearly ran right into --

-- another person he didn't expect to see, and one he didn't recognize. A woman, maybe twelve or thirteen years older than him, with strawberry blonde hair. "Wally West," she said warmly. "Flash. I'm Fiona Webb."

Fiona Webb! It took a moment for the name to register. Former fiancee of Barry Allen, before Barry found out his wife Iris -- Wally's aunt -- was still alive, in the future. It was when the Reverse-Flash, Professor Zoom, had tried to kill her on their wedding day that Barry had killed Zoom instead -- just weeks before the Crisis that would claim his life.

As far as Wally knew, no one had heard from her since. "Ms. Webb," he said carefully. "It's good to meet you."

She smiled. "May I come in? Surely the previous Flash mentioned me. After all, we were nearly married." Ah. So she knew Barry was the Flash -- but she hadn't at the time, he was positive.

"The previous Flash?"

She walked by him, noting briefly the gorilla sitting on the couch. "Barry. Look, Wally, I've known for years. Let's not play games. I'm here ..." She frowned, grew thoughtful. "I'm here to offer our services."

"Who is 'our'?"

"The Temple of Triumphant Velocity. You see, Wally -- I don't know if you're fully aware of your destiny. Barry never was. But there's a ... a force, from which your powers come. Oh, you must be Linda Park? How do you do, Linda." Fiona turned back to Wally. "A mystical force which permeates the universe. The Platonic Ideal of speed, of motion."

"Yeah, the Speed Force."

She blinked. "You ... do know?"

"I discovered it some time ago, but I don't see what you're getting at, Ms. Webb."

"Call me Fiona. The Temple of Triumphant Velocity is dedicated to the reverence of this ideal, in a manner first hinted at by the Italian futurists at the beginning of the twentieth century. Wally, I'm here to help you. To help you understand your place in the universe, much as the rabbis and John the Baptist helped Jesus."

"You think ..."

"I know. I know that you are the Avatar of what you call the Speed Force. That you are the chosen champion of Triumphant Velocity. Wally, you're a god. Not in any figurative sense. You are, yourself, a deity, as Barry was before you -- but Barry was only paving the way for you. Barry was ... foreshadowing."

"That's -- really interesting, Fiona, but -- actually, Sam and I -- this is Sam, by the way, he's a gorilla but he smells just fine -- we were about to go to the --"

Ring ring. Doorbell again. Wally answered the door, and it was --

"Karen," he said. In her civvies, so it wasn't anything superheroic. Oh, geez, he hoped she wasn't --

"Wally." She stepped inside, pushing him to the side to do so ... brushing up against him maybe more than she had to ... looked from Sam to Fiona, ignored them both, and focused right on Linda. "We need to talk, Linda. I'm Karen Starr. Do you have a moment?"

There was some chick thing going on between their eyes. Like a negotiation. Linda nodded as if she knew precisely what was up, and led Karen out to the patio.

Leaving Wally with Sam and Fiona. Okay, this was easily dealt with ... think, West, think. You're the fastest man alive. Your girlfriend and the woman you just slept with are having a talk in the other room. You've got a gorilla who wants you to turn his girlfriend into a gorilla, and a woman who thinks you're God -- so --

-- you run.

"C'mon, Sam," he said, grabbing Sam by the arm. "Let's go see about that Gorilla Ray. Fiona, if you want to give me your number, I'll catch up with you when I can."

"But --" Fiona said, fumbling a business card out, as Wally pushed her out the door.

"But --" Sam said, as he was pulled out the door with Wally, and across town.

Wally lent Sam enough velocity to keep him from being torn apart as he yanked him to the Flash Museum, phasing through the walls and into the exhibit rooms. "All right," Wally said breathlessly. "Gorilla Ray. Let's find this Gorilla Ray."

"Uh, shouldn't we get Angel?"

"Right! Where is she?"

"We're staying in town, at the Belvedere, in room --"

ZOOM! Wally whisked him across town, grabbed Angel, and brought them both back to the Museum. "Like I was saying. Gorilla Ray. Oh, by the way, hi, Angel. Good to meet you. All right, want to split up? Let's find this sucker."

It actually took awhile, because the Gorilla Ray wasn't on display. The "Many Transformations of the Flash" exhibit was under construction, and everything involved in it was in the back storage room. So by the time Wally actually found it ...

"Hello, Wally," Linda said. He didn't like that tone of voice, and didn't want to look up, but did, to see Linda and Karen standing next to each other. Body language said that they were both emotionally worn out but had decided to put the energy into being pissed at him.


"So," Wally said. "I really screwed up."

Angel and Sam were getting the Gorilla Ray set up. Karen and Linda both had those crossed arms, you know, with the hips thrust out a little bit. The "c'mon, just TRY and talk your way out of this" posture. Admittedly, Karen's arms were ... straining a lot more.

"Yeah, Wally," Linda said. "You really screwed up."

"Linda ... listen, I was --"

"No. YOU listen. First, you should have told me that the other Flash -- who's half of you now -- slept with Karen. Second, you should have told me that she was the one you zeroed in on to get home, whether you meant to or not. Third, you should have told me you slept with her AGAIN. Fourth, none of that should ever have happened."

He started to say something, but --

ZZZZAAP.

"Oh, crap," Angel said. "Sam, it goes the OTHER way around!"

Karen had just been turned into a gorilla.

"Fifth," Linda said, as if nothing had happened, "Your stuff will be waiting for you on the lawn. Find somewhere else to sleep from now on."

***

Next: Power Girl is a gorilla!

 

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Story © 2001 Bill Kte'pi and may not be reproduced without permission.